LOVES GONE WRONG

Damn I realized that my love life have been nothing but crap. What is love really? does anybody really knows to describe it? All the females that I ever fell for except for one Has done nothing but fucked up my emotions as a man. Shouldn't love be a great feeling that captivates your mind, body, and soul at the same time? right? sigh.. I feel as if all my experiences with my definition of so called "love" has rendered me incapable of ever falling in love again. Now this doesn't mean that I go out and just fuck every piece of ass that comes my way because I'm not that guy at all, I simply just cannot find an emotional connection with any of my partners anymore. Yes it's really sad.
It all started at 15 when I fell for a Dominican. Now this was by far the worst of them all because it was the longest. 2 and a half years to be exact. She was perfect in every way. Great personality, very intelligent, and very sexy. we met our first week of high school in dance class and the rest was history. Yes it was somewhat that love at first sight type of thing. everything was great until until she got drunk and sex with one of my friends at a party. what made it even worst, he recorded the whole thing on his camera and showed it to me because I had so much trust in her that no matter how much people told me it happened I would never question her because I loved her and I knew she loved me and would never do it. But after seeing the tape, I was obviously wrong. Yes she would try to apologize and ask for forgiveness but it was not going to happen. so I ended it right away.
Then came the Light-skinned African from Ghana. Beautiful female lox, great body, great smile, Just a pure DYME. We met at the Milford mall in CT, she was very stubborn and hard to get but onces the dust settled we fell in "Love" with each other. This was story book greatness. Nothing could keep us apart. For 9 months we were perfect. Until her father died and she had to move back home. This left me crushed, dismantlement, and devastated.
Then came the Brooklyn girl, or you can say I found her. I can't really explain how I fell for this one, but she was there for me when I was at my lowest. She's also what most men would call damaged goods. Someone took her heart, crushed it, swallowed it, and spit it out. So she became an explorer so to say, trying to find herself and self worth. She was very intelligent, sweet, and pure hearted. Honesty was her best quality. Needless to say we became infatuated with each other. I was also a shoulder she could cry on as she was to I. She was not able to let go of her past,so that she can try to create a new future. So I was in love all by myself. I would have done anything for this relationship to work, but in the end I was left alone.
Now for every female that comes my way, they receive a cold shoulder from me. I refuse to make the mistake of taking my heart lightly. Every love experience I had went terribly wrong. So no female will have it easy when it comes to dating me. Love will not come quick. and I will not be vulnerable. My heart has officially became an Ice box, and it will take a while to thaw out.