My Life is a Movie

My life in many ways can be consider a Box Office movie. labels such as Thriller, Drama, action and comedy can easily describe what you would see in my on screen biography. but what you people can't see is the most important aspect of me, "My Thoughts". Is it hard to figure me out? I would say yes. That's why I like to watch my close friends try. The techniques they try it with are clever I must admit. But the fact of the matter is, "i'm one confusing son of bitch". its best not try and read or understand, but to accept me. Maybe then you can get a glimpse of what I'm thinking.

Today My name is Akeem, also known as Denio Luciano. I am 19 years old. I am an entrepreneur. my work consist of Music producing, Promoting, and Fashion. I make a net amount of $14,000 per month. No I do not own my own home, but I Have 2 apartments which I pay for monthly, one in Greensboro, North Carolina and the other in Miami, Florida. I've traveled to countries in all continents except Africa and Antarctica. Now let me guess, you think i'm just another Brat that came from money and was fed from a gold spoon my whole life..lol..your dead wrong!

I was born Akeem Courtney from Tivoli Gardens Kingston Jamaica. I didnt meet my father till i was five years old. to this day I have not met my real mother because certain people decided that, that is a secret they will take to their graves. I for a few years was raised in the Slum, Not Ghetto! THE "SLUM". then the woman who raised me as her own son worked up enough money to ship me off to South London, UK. maybe now you think this is where my life got better, NOPE, your wrong again. I lived in Brixton London. If you don't know about that place look it up. its was as ghetto as it gets. Then a few years after that I was shipped off to New York City with my Father who was a semi successful owner of a trucking company. maybe now you think my life got better? NOPE, wrong again. My father beat the shit out of me every day for 4 years str8. sometimes it was drunkness and sometimes he was just bored. and I'm not talking about belts. I mean 2by4 wood, cable and phone wires, and even wire hangers, theres alot more but thats enough to chew on for now.

My life got better when at age 15 with a bullet slugged in my side that came from my fathere gun made me realize I aint taking shit from no one no more. I picked a gun and fired four shots my father's fat ass. I did hit him with 3 but surprisingly he survived. after spending 11 months in Jail I came out a new person, I had a plan to make my life better. I started writing Music and selling Drugs to make money. By the time I was 17 years old I had a writers deal with Island def Jam. and from then on my life has been, how could I put this? "BETTER". OH lots happened in between all of this that could of put me in an insane asylum, but I've kept strong.

Now tell me, is this a movie you would like to see???

What I Want From A Woman

No time for explanations so lets Skipp the formalities. As a real man I'm looking for a real woman, One who is intelligent, honest, mature and willing to do for others without thought of herself. An Independent woman is a plus but at the same time she has to be level headed and willing to put her pride aside for her man. also she has to be fun, energetic and willing to step out of her comfort zone once in a while and show her immature side; when appropriate of course. is there such a female on earth? I do not know. So far every woman I have been with has been a complete let down.

I have been 100% percent honest in my past relationships, and it seems that has been a total mistake. For every female I speak to nowadays its like a screening process. there is no chance of heartache because they cannot get that close me, my wall is too tall to climb and my mountain is too rugged to hike. Slowly but surely I'm getting over my last love, but its no easy road to walk. she holds a special place in heart that is reserved for a lifetime.

Many things that were normal day by day to me are now looked upon differently. For example sex which was an easy escape to pleasure and comfort. I now see as a privilege. the connection and emotional bond between two individuals during sex, I now think should be held sacred between the two. these feelings should not be taking advantage of. for a man to penetrate a female means that at that moment they become one with each other. a flow of lustful emotions charges both bodies and starts an experience that should be memorable.

My woman should be able to try and understand these things. Now again I ask. IS THERE SUCH A WOMAN IN EXISTENCE? or is all hope lost?

I'M CONFUSED

Last Wednesday on February 3rd, 2010 I landed at PTI airport in Greensboro North Carolina at 9:50 p.m. by way of Fort Lauderdale Florida. My friend Kevin who picked me up suggested that we go out and have some fun, so I agreed. After the party, while heading back to my apartment I was completely drunk. Kevin who was not, was the designated driver. About 5 minutes away from my place I felt the car sliding. {there was ice on the freeways from the night before when it snowed}. the car proceeded to turn and twist before completely flipping over, then it rolled off to the side of the freeway. I remember while it was flipping I wasn't thinking about living or dying. My thoughts were "Mommy and jaren I'm sorry, Mommy and jaren I love you". At the hospital I flat-lined. And after countless tries with a defibrillator I was shocked back to life.I woke up Thursday afternoon with a broken clavicle, 3 broken ribs, badly bruised muscle tissues in my right shoulder and a minor concussion. But being told that I died and came back didn't bother me at all. What did it for me was being told that kevin will never walk again and it would take up to 8 months before he fully recovers. Its has been eating at me to know that my friend will never walk again, now a little over an hour ago I found out that he died. I am sitting here with tears flowing down my face in complete disbelief. WHY DID MY FRIEND HAVE TO DIE? WHY NOT TAKE ME? WHY DID I HAVE TO COME BACK? WHY DIDN'T I STAY DEAD? I'm so confused. Kevin was an athlete who always did the right thing no matter what and he was not speared. I sin, I drink, I fornicate, I have stolen, I have cheated and I have lied. But yet I was saved and he was taken. WHY? Why am I so special that rather than a good clean hearted person? what have I done that was worth me living? The one person I care about most in this world doesn't even want to be with me! I am so CONFUSED!!! why him and not me. I was as good as gone so why did you allow me to live? I guess even death isn't good enough for me.

REST IN PARADISE KEVIN, I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!

HEARTBREAKER (Lyrics)

CHORUS: she's nothing to me but a heartbreaker.....
I had nothing but love for this girl but now I hate her.....
BABY I... thought that one day this would be.....
But right now I want it to be you without me.....

VERSE#1 baby I'm not trying to be a Jerk...
Do you really think that your the only one hurt.....
Yes I did a few things wrong....
If I didnt then I wouldnt have wrote this song
Try looking at things from my point of veiw...(echo)
IF YOU DID! you'd blame most of this on you....
Baby I TRIED! Doing my part...........
But in the. your the one that broke my heart...............

CHORUS: she's nothing to me but a heartbreaker.....
I had nothing but love for this girl but now I hate her.....
BABY I... thought that one day this would be.....
But right now I want it to be you without me.....

VERSE#2 She said that she wasnt ready to love me.....
felt like she talking to every guy except me.......
At the end she got mad cause I pointed out the truth.....
I should be the one mad cause I really felt used....
I tried to even out those rainy day.......(echo)
As if I could magically take the clouds away......
This is how I felt inside.......
I just wished it was over when I opened up my eyes......

CHORUS: she's nothing to me but a heartbreaker.....
I had nothing but love for this girl but now I hate her.....
BABY I... thought that one day this would be.....
But right now I want it to be you without me.....

VERSE#3 I thought that we would have chemistry.....
If I could add you, subtract the rest that was me.....
I WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE!!!!.......
I didnt know you were the one blaming me....
Now I no choice but to move on......(echo)
Get my mind off of you girl and just write my songs....
This song just might make you cry.......
But I dont care how You feel inside......

CHORUS: she's nothing to me but a heartbreaker.....
I had nothing but love for this girl but now I hate her.....
BABY I... thought that one day this would be.....
But right now I want it to be you without me.....

NEW ME

Now do not take the new me out of context. I'm still the same me, just a different mind set. I'm no longer putting myself into situations that could possibly burn me in the end, because instead of results, I'm left toe to toe with this asshole called Consequence. why did I do it? no one seems to know, not even me and that's what blows. am I just drawn to bad luck? I don't know!. but one thing I know is that I have learned my lesson. Yeah it was hard but totally worth it in the end, and through faith I received my blessing. I am a new man with a new plan. success or die. happiness has to wait. Or not maybe my success will wipe the sleight clean and hand me a brand new plate.

MY TRUE EMOTIONS>>I'M THROUGH

This is to whom it may concern {I'M THROUGH WITH YOU}I'm sick and tired of letting you know how I feel then always ending up being the bad guy. I pour my heart out every time and all I get in return is criticism. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS TO FEEL LIKE ALL YOUR WORTH IS ENTERTAINMENT? I don't know why I am such a fool to keep coming back to you. Maybe its because I fucking love you. but fuck that shit now I'M THROUGH. I need to find someone who will appreciate all the love I'm pouring into them. I work my ass off to make you feel better when your down. when you cried I cried. when you smiled I smiled,you mean the fucking world to me...and at Christmas when all I want is to spend some time with you, IT'S TOO MUCH OF A BURDEN! REALLY?!?!. you just told me that your schedule was clear suddenly, and you can't even make an effort to see me for one day. that's just bullshit. I'm sorry other men have caused you to be like this. But I don't deserve to be treated like this.....My Christmas is officially over I'm going back home in the morning...FUCK IT...My heart is officially ripped apart I hope you have a good life. MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!!!

A SPIT OPINION>>>>ABOUT YOU KNOW..........

Growing up, for some reason I always found myself talking about sex. No I am not a pervert, but for some reason it was just the main topic on the table all the time.
Now every once in a while I would come across the type of person who will relinquish there habits, thoughts, actions, etc towards sex, whether it be because of religious reasons or petty reasons like "I can't find the right man". I would say girls as well too, but for some reason, alot of guys can careless about the extras within a one night stand. A guy comes in the room looking at a eager woman and he is usually guaranteed a nut. Woman, well most woman, thanks to society, will allow their feelings and emotions to become tied in with the physical aspects of sex.

Well I have an opinion for both sides. Coming out of my high school, my city, my hood and going into A&T, the same words are repeated. "She's a slut, smut, ho, whore, jump-off, popper, etc." Personally I can care less about that. When a man sleeps around, gets with this girl one night, that girl the other night, and this girl in the morning, he gets praised. Don't nobody talk shit about him, actually even more girls want him (funny). Now my opinion is that, women who do not tie in emotions with sex, congrats, because you are changing society as many people complain about. If not hiring a women instead of a man is sexist, then calling a shawty a slut and a dude a pimp is sexist too.

Now, for the modest women and their opinions about sex....it's is usually the guys fault. For all of the modest girls who are not virgins...it is definitely the guys fault. I am a man in love, but obviously sex is a huge part in many relationships nowadays. Now I am not saying it is needed, because I know successful relationships that prosper without it. It is said in the bible that sex should not be initiated until marriage. I am a Christian, but I believe the bible over time has been misinterpreted and tampered with. Many people think that the disciples and biblical characters were peaceful and modest, NO, King David was a beast. He didn't sit back and talk to the Philistines nicely, he talked shit and cut dudes heads off! Now the same thing with sex. Marriage used to be a holy ritual that was used to bind a couple. Well back then, you met a person you liked, you admitted it, and you got married. Now marriage can take as long as 20 years. You do not need an expensive wedding, a huge cake, and a marriage license to have sex with someone you love...or even like, or that you just find cute for that matter.

And for the guys that messed up that "first time" for the lady...shame on you. Do your research, find those special spots that will make a girls feet curl. Remember, a guy can feel good with almost anything, girls are complicated. There are things to do and know that will have a girl spreading the word about ya. (Grafenberg spot a.k.a G-Spot, the clit and its thousands of nerve endings, the vulva that inflames after insertion, the labia's minor and major that are sensitive to tongue. The positions that will have a girl cumming with the first few pumps.) And ladies, be open to try new things. If sex was so bad, then I do not believe that our Lord would have created us this way.

Guys and Girls, do not be afraid to ask ya friends for advice, for info. I am not promoting sex, I am just tired of hearing what I hear about it. Get on ya game if you like it and do it and WRAP I UP. And if ya don't do it, stay confident in what you do. Don't take the bullshit.